Every day thousands of children wake up and are afraid to go to
school. Not because they haven’t completed their homework, nor are
they nervous to take a test, but because they are fearful of
bullying.
Bullying is rapidly becoming one of the leading concerns within
schools and for law enforcement agencies. Bullying can lead to poor
grades, school violence and teen suicide. The Novi Police
Department, in partnership with all area schools, is dedicated to
providing a safe, vibrant and enjoyable learning environment for all
students.
Bullying occurs when
a person is picked on repeatedly by an individual or group perceived
with more power; either in terms of physical strength or social
status. It is the on-going harassment from one peer to another
resulting in mental, physical and/or psychological pain. Bullying
can be physical or verbal. Boys tend to use more physical elements
when bullying and girls tend to be more verbal. Bullying can occur
anywhere; on the bus, in the neighborhood, before or after school,
in the cafeteria or hallway, or on a computer (Cyber bullying).
Cyber bullying can be defined as the use of technology to
degrade, harass or humiliate another person or group of people.
Cyber bullying can be done through the internet, text messaging,
chat rooms and personal web sites via My Space, Facebook and similar
online message boards. It is important for parents and guardians to
be aware of what their children are doing on the computer and to
know who their children are communicating with and what they are
saying. Parental awareness is the first step in preventing Cyber
bullying.
Bullying can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, and
threats to mocking others. It also can involve extorting money and
prized possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading
rumors about them.
Bullies choose their victims for two main reasons – appearance
and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit
in, maybe because of how they look, how they act, their race or
religion, their size, or their sexual orientation.
Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids
because they need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or
physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way —
to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some
bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, this is not
always the case.
Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they have
been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they
come from backgrounds where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts,
or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness
— people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance
or lack of talent.
A bully likes attention and appears confident with high self
esteem, when actually they are most likely extremely insecure. They
may be physically aggressive, pro-violence, easily angered and
impulsive. A bully likes to dominate and have power over people.
Bullies are more likely to dislike others, perform poorly
academically, instigate fights, and are more prone to be problematic
in school.
A recent study showed that boys who are school bullies in grades
six through nine had at least one criminal conviction by age 24.
Anyone can be a victim of bullying. As a parent or educator,
there are warning signs to look for:
Sudden downward change in a child’s school performance
A sudden change in friendship groups
School absenteeism
The loss of school or personal items (more so than normal)
Unexplained bruises or torn clothing that occurs during school
hours
If you suspect a child is a victim of bullying, it’s important to
maintain open lines of communication and contact school officials.
It may be tempting to tell the child to fight back; however, it's
important to advise children not to respond to bullying by fighting
or bullying back. This improper form of retaliation can quickly
escalate into violence, trouble, and someone getting hurt. Instead,
it's best to walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and
tell an adult.
Encourage children to:
Try to always avoid the bully and use the "buddy" system.
Control his/her anger – walk away from the presence of a
bully.
Tell an adult, albeit a parent, teacher or school
administrator.
Share openly with others. Tell someone you trust, such as a
counselor, teacher, parent, or friend.
As responsible parents or guardians, you can lessen the impact of
bullying. Encourage children to get together with friends who build
their confidence. Help him/her meet playmates by joining clubs
or sports programs and find activities which help a child feel
confident and strong. Perhaps it's a self-defense class like martial
arts, a sports program such as soccer, or an arts activity like
dance.
Prevention through education is one of the best ways to deter
bullying before it begins. The Novi Police Department has taken a
pro active approach to preventing bullying. Our Police Detectives
and School Resource Officer have attended anti-bullying training and
partnered with area schools to educate students about bullying and
how to deal with it as a victim.
Strong partnerships between schools, law enforcement agencies and
parents are the key to stopping bullying. Together we must stop the
silence and raise awareness for this rapidly growing concern in our
society.
For more information or to share a concern on bullying, please
contact the Novi Police Department at 248-348-7100.